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Four long years,my heart aches . . .
Here it is again, the horrible winding down of yet another year without you.  My heart aches to hold you again, to hear your voice, to see you smile, ....    Will this ever get better? 


                        
Teresa Jacobs July 22, 2012
 
Smiling because . . .
~SMILE BECAUSE HE LIVED~
"I CAN SHED TEARS THAT JUSTIN IS GONE,
OR I CAN SMILE BECAUSE HE LIVED,
I CAN CLOSE MY EYES & PRAY THAT HE'LL COME BACK,
OR I CAN OPEN MY EYES & SEE ALL THAT HE HAS LEFT US. MY HEART CAN BE EMPTY BECAUSE I CAN'T SEE HIM, OR I CAN BE FULL OF THE LOVE THAT WE SHARED.
I CAN TURN MY BACK ON TOMORROW & LIVE YESTERDAY! OR I CAN BE BLESSED FOR TOMORROW BECAUSE OF YESTERDAY. I CAN REMEMBER JUSTIN & ONLY THAT HE IS GONE, OR I CAN CHERISH HIS MEMORY & LET IT LIVE ON. I CAN CRY & CLOSE MY HEART, BE EMPTY & TURN BACK,
OR I CAN DO WHAT JUSTIN WOULD WANT:
SMILE~OPEN MY EYES~CONTINUE TO LOVE & GO ON~
SMILE BECAUSE JUSTIN LIVED,"
 
Teresa Jacobs July 20, 2012
 
More of the beauty . . . .
Teresa Jacobs July 20, 2012
 
Covered that old dead grass with beauty
Teresa Jacobs July 20, 2012
 
More of the day . . .
Teresa Jacobs July 20, 2012
 
The day is here . . .
Teresa Jacobs July 16, 2012
 
One foot in front of the other . . . .
image It is here, the actual minute has passed and I have again survived.  This year both your siblings seem to have taken this harder than ever before.  We all miss you so very much.  Even little Rylee who only knows you through us said "I wish Uncle Justin was here so we could play together".  This year I have managed to move forward on some things.  I had your clothes made into quilts for your siblings and your children, I had to have one too, of course.  Makes us feel closer to you.  Also had each of your children a bear made out of your clothes, Rylee cried and wanted one too so of course she has one too.
In the middle of each thing is a heart made out of the one tie dye shirt I had that says Justin always in our heart.  It was a good move, even though I nearly had a panic attack leaving all your clothes with someone else to take care of, sounds crazy I know but can't help it.
Teresa Jacobs July 15, 2012
 
Tears, heart aches, more tears . . . .
Today has been so hard, filled with lasts.  I sit here tonight, tears flowing.  My heart and my chest actually hurt, not just emotionally but physically.  How in the world am I supposed to live through this.  My head knows you are happy but my heart misses you so much. 

I love you more than my own life Justin.  I would have gladly taken your place . . . . .
Teresa Jacobs July 15, 2012
 
Just sayin' . . .
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Teresa Jacobs July 15, 2012
 
My precious Justin . . .
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Mom July 12, 2012
 
Loving you always . . .

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