Justin Bradley Lindley

Some people think that I should be over this, that my grief will somehow just magically disappear, how does one get over losing a child?  It makes some people uncomfortable for me to continue to talk about you, tell them how much I miss you. They don't actually say it but you can read it in their faces and actions.  It is the old story, if you haven't walked a mile in my moccasins then you can't know how I feel.  What IS the correct way to help your grandchildren on Father's Day when their friends still have their Daddy?  What IS the correct response when a  two year old child asks you where her Daddy is?  Feeling very cheated tonight for me and the rest of my family-sorry but it's true. 

I have added a new song to your website Justin, Homesick by Mercy Me!  When I heard this the first time I cried and cried because it expresses my inner most feelings.  I don't understand, my heart is hurting, I long to hear your laugh and feel your hugs.  I know my pain will never end, I am forever changed as of Wednesday, July 16, 2008.  This second year has been even harder than the first, I guess because I realize the finality of it all, that you are not coming back and this is not some horrible nightmare.  I want to wake up and have you here with me.  My heart knows you are well and happy and it even knows I will see you again but it hurts so much.  Part of me died on July 16th, 2008.  Parents are not supposed to outlive their children-you were my future!

 

Just going to write as I feel the need to this month!  I love you Justin!